My Yard Stick Theory

When I was a litte girl, I learned so many lessons the hard way. Learning the yard stick theory was one of those hard lessons that I will never forget. Recently I was reading some postings on Facebook. Apparently someone had accidentally offended another by being able to accomplish more than another person due to their individual cases of CVID. After reading that I thought about this lesson that I learned as a young girl.

I was about eleven years old at the time. I was a very thin, scrawny and frail looking thing. I had scabs on my boney arms and legs due to my constant scratching from skin allergies. I had a bit of thin fuzzy blonde hair on my head due to my alopecia, which was usually tied up in pigtails from which the wispy fuzz would float around. I wore large glasses with thick lenses. My face was blotchy and covered in white heads due to my dairy and other allergies. I was constantly coughing and wheezing due to asthma and seemingly endless respiratory infections that made me chronically absent from school. I had very few friends in school as I spent most of my recess time getting my medications at the nurse's office and wasn't able to play with the other children.

On this one particular day I had been able to attend school. During recess the school kids had been teasing and hazing me as they usually did. I was sad because they had mocked me and excluded from the tetherball. I had sat alone and watched them from a distance as they played and threw the occasion remark to me. I was so thankfull to be pulled out of class for a doctor's appointment later that day, as it was an escape from the mean kids.

At the doctor's office I recounted the days events with sadness. My mother sat next to me knitting and commenting from time to time. I told her how I wish I could run and play like the other kids and not be sick all the time. I wanted to have pretty hair like the other girls at school. I told her how I hated being sick and that it wasn't fair. I continued in such a vein for a while, dwelling in my self-pity and crying with my head hung low.

After a while I noticed some movement in front of me and wiped my eyes. In front of me was another girl waiting to see the doctor. She had pretty hair and smiled at me. She didn't say anything. She just sat in her wheelchair with a strap holding her upright.

I looked around the waiting room for the first time. It was then that I realised that I was the only child there who wasn't in a wheelchair. To these other children I probably had what they most desired. I was able to walk and run. I was able to play with the other kids. I was able to do most anything. They were confined to their wheelchairs due to their disabilities, but I was not. My disabilities only restricted my ability to breathe, which was manageable.

I felt foolish for my former moment of self-pity. My whining and complaining about things was nonsensical. I felt selfish and quickly started counting my blessings. I prayed for those other children to someday be able to walk and run.

It was due to this experience that I developed my yard stick theory. When you compare yourself to others you will always find someone that is better off than you and others that are less. You shouldn't compare yourself to others, but rather compare yourself only to you. How are you doing to today? Have you done your best? That is what matters in the long run.

Now I have CVID and many other medical problems. I still remember those lessons that I learned when I was young. My parents knew that having disabilities was hard, and sometimes they would bring a me down, such as when a seizure at school embarassed me. I was given time to have a pity party, (as I called it), but then my parents would start pushing me onward and away from my dwelling.

Life is about living. We need to LIVE our lives. We need to appreciate the setbacks and the accomplishments because each one is a precious experience. Please don't waste time with dispair and dweling on negative things. Don't compare yourselves to others, it isn't important. Take a look at your life accomplishments, yesterdays goals met, your improvement with treatment, and so much more. I try to cherish the good times, as they help me when I have bad times.

I hope that you embrace your life as a zebra. Some days may be hard. Other days are great. Don't compare yourself to others. Remember that just as the pattern of stripes on a zebra is unique, so are you. You can't compare that kind of greatness to others.

Many hugs and best wishes to everyone in my dazzle!